Something to look forward to

Don't you love weekends?  Sleeping in, actually enjoying your coffee, reading instead of rushing out the door?  Do you ever get to really experience that?  Or do you wake up at 5:30am, like I do ?  My body has a clock, everyone does.  I remember a man I dated (that I fell in love with and should of stayed with)  never used an alarm clock.  If I stayed the night it scared the hell out of me,  to go to sleep and not set an alarm.  So, he would set one just for me.  Most of the time, as long as I am not overtired, and stayed up too late, I might sleep a little more.   So, if you do wake too early, do something nice for yourself.  Get that coffee, read a book, or a magazine.  Take a walk, work out, make a nice breakfast (you know like you did when a man was with you).  Run some errands, before everyone else who slept in does.  Start a project you have been putting off.  Give yourself a long hot shower, and a facial, maybe pedicure.  When you are single, and even if you aren't, do something nice for yourself.  We all need things to look forward to in life.  Without doing that life will become mundane, stale, stuck.  I experienced this with Mr. S.  He had a hard time making plans for the future, no matter what it was.  He told me when we went our separate ways that there was no passion, or hope.  Well, I have news for him, that was his fault.  Not mine!  We all have a plan in our own mind.  We have dreams, desires, hopes.  If you don't then you will be bored, and unhappy, VERY unhappy.  You need to remember who you ARE.  You are never too old to live life to it's fullest.  You are the only one that can decide what you want.  Whether it is a job, a hobby, a goal, a partner.  Figure out what it is, and go for it!  We all need vacations, to get away from everyday life.  If you can't take a week or so, take mini vacations.  Take more day trips.  The internet is such a great tool for research to check everything out before you actually do something.  You can get great deals with some sites such as Groupon, Travelocity, and I'm sure there are others.  After losing my stable employment a couple of years ago, I was in limbo for a while.  I had some money in the bank, waiting for more.... I was looking desperately for a job that I could do with my restrictions.  My oldest son who lives out of state had gotten married and they had a daughter.  I really wanted to see my son, meet my new daughter in law, and adorable granddaughter.  I needed as a Mom to see his environment, and if he was happy.  It's important as a parent to know your kids are happy.  My son has traveled the world as a single man, and he was now settling down with his own family.  I decided I needed to visit.  I contacted him, and he really was happy I could come to Louisiana.  I really should of researched this state a little more, especially the weather to travel.  It was July, and muggy as hell.  I am an outdoor person and I hate being inside when the sun is shining.  Well,  it was difficult being in that heat.  People who lived there I guess get used to it.  I don't think I could.  My son would be up at 4 am and take a run before the heat got too intense.  Anyway, I did it.... I took out a new credit card to use more for travel, with frequent flyer miles, and other perks.  I went to that hot state to visit for I think 6 days.  I loved being with him and his family, and I bonded quickly with my little angel.  I wished I could stay longer and help out.  I plan to visit again just not in the summer, lol....   This was something I wanted, and I went for it.  I don't even like to fly.  I have to take a Xanax to get on the plane.  I love to travel, though.  I need a man in my life that wants the same, and who makes good money that we can.  I really had hoped Mr S would of been him, but he was too afraid to do much of anything.  Sad, to sabotage your life like that.  Don't let yourself get stuck in the rut!   Enjoy new experiences!  I am so looking forward to warmer weather in Michigan.  I bought a kayak that I am thrilled to get on the river with.  With friends laughing and living life.  I bought concert tickets for my own birthday gift in August.  My daughter, one of her friends, and one of my best friends are going to see Kenny Chesney and others who are awesome country music stars.  This was on my bucket list, to see him.  We all need a bucket list!  A vision board.  Think of what you want, get it in your mind.  I am looking for a new job, not just a job..... something that I can help others and feel good when I leave.  Do you think I felt that way leaving the credit union?  NO, very much the opposite.  Very unappreciated, very drained most days.  My friend Jennifer has made me realize that life is fragile.  She is a cancer survivor, and such an inspiration.  She has stepped out of her comfort zone, and is doing 5 K's all over the US.  She and her husband have been through a lot, and they are making the most of it.  She has a bucket list, a vision.  She recently retired from the credit union where we both worked.  She had been there over 30 years, and saw a lot of the changes that took place.  In the past few years, not good for a lot of the employees.  She decided to get out, and enjoy life.  Her and her husband are now purchasing a home up north in a little town where they have a summer cottage that has been in her family for many years.  I can't wait to visit them!  Something to look forward to!  Another person that inspires me is my sister Darlene.  We have the same father.  I met my father, step mom, and 7 siblings when I was in my 30's.  My own step father has passed away, and I really wanted to know where I came from.  One of the best things my ex husband did for me was to help locate my dad.  This was before the internet searches were available.  All he had was a name and a town, from information my aunt gave me....well, thanks to some telephone operators, we found him.  I always knew I was part of a bigger family!  I have two sisters, and five brothers.  One of the sisters, Dar is very special to me.  We are 10 years apart in age, but we are a lot alike in many ways.  She surprised me over a year ago by visiting me right after my birthday.  That year had been tough, losing another sister to cancer, going through more with work comp and lawyers.... dealing with a relationship that I felt I wasn't getting what I needed, and wondering what the future held.   I was overjoyed when she called to ask my address and tell me she was on her way, from upstate NY, was by Indiana.  We spent a week together, we had hardly spoken in years.  I find out that she has been in a severe motorcycle accident.  She was in such bad shape.  Didn't think she was going to walk, talk, again.... She survived!  She doesn't live with regrets.  She goes after life and what she wants!  She is amazing!  She gave me hope.  She gave me her love as a sister, which I really needed.  She needed me as well.  It was so wonderful to have a sister around again!  My sisters that I was raised with we were not that close.  As adults we all choose who we want in our life.  Not going to go into it now, but it was a strained relationship, due to many different reasons.  

Life is what we make it.  I choose to be happy, no matter what I need to do to get there.  Sometimes we have to be a little selfish.  I'm not saying to not do for others.  We need to take care of ourselves to take care of others.  I made another decision yesterday.  I booked a flight to see my sister who is now living in S. Carolina.  She mailed me a surprise box last week, with all kinds of beach items.  Her and I both love the beach.  It made me realize I need and want to visit.  She met a nice man, and she left NY to be with him.  She still visits NY, driving sometimes on her own the many miles to visit her family.  Like I said she is an inspiration.  Live your life!   If you are single, like me, do it NOW.  Stop waiting for Mr. Wonderful to come along and take you places.  If you are able to do it financially, then GO!  I am excited to spend time with her, meet her new man, and soak up some sun, and lay on the beach.  Think about my next adventure!   

Enjoy all of your special moments.  Life goes way too fast.  I am looking forward to going to a concert with two of my besties, Beth and Connie tonight.  Dinner, a drink, and a country music concert.  So needed, and so looking forward to!