Communication.... and pursuit of better than average
A new friend of mine, who I hope to discuss at some point, but not now, it's very new.... said I should write on Communication.... and how some people can connect even before they meet. I believe he is correct. We all know though that when you actually meet that other person, that is the true test. Whether it is just a friendship (which is all we are choosing to be at this stage) and could possibly be "the ONE" to share time with to develop into a relationship. He said he usually knows within 3 phone calls, if he wants to continue to get to know someone. We are up to about 14 calls now, lol.... I told him of how I was so exhausted from the online dating sites, the men that first send you some kind of compliment, and then message you a few times, and then possibly get your number, text a few times, and then fall off the face of the earth! Most of them never even make it to hearing your voice. And then you have these doubts of what did I do? Really? I feel if someone is really interested in getting to know you, not just saying so in a message from a dating site, or even in a text, that they will call you and communicate in a real way. Online dating is such a game for some people... some of these guys try and talk to as many women as possible. I am not saying that I haven't talked to a few as well. However I usually know within a few messages if I am interested in pursuing anything with that person further. I am old fashioned, and believe as women we need to let the man do the calling first. Yes, this is the old school way of dating. Stop using masculine energy, jump back into feminine energy.... Online dating is a tool of communication, and there are many sites out there offering that...but some you have to pay for if you actually want to talk to someone.... I am sure it is a very big money maker, I know they probably have too much of mine in the last few months. I went back to online dating after the break up with Mr. S. I wasn't going to do it, but then I thought, why not? How are you ever going to meet someone, as I don't go out much. I do not do bars, clubs, etc. I do go out to dinner, concerts, movies, sporting events, kayaking, bike riding, walks with friends... mostly girl friends. Yes, there is a chance that I could meet Mr. Right in Walmart, but really, have you seen the people in that store??? I try not to make too much eye contact when in there.... scary.... and when I am with my friends, I am trying to spend quality time with them. With the job I am currently doing, no chance of meeting him.... so therefore make a profile on the sites... and I think I told you I went on a few just to check them out. No, I did not pay for all of them. Match, Zoosk, OK Cupid, Our Time, E Harmony, Tinder, Two, POF, and I am sure there are many more. I can't keep up with all of it. Yes, overload. Some of the men that reach out to me, I am thinking WTH? Did you look at yourself before you took that profile picture? And why do people post all these pictures with their kids, grandkids, in a big group, wow.... just crazy...and what happens to some people when they hit 50? Do they just let themselves go? I am also seeing there are a lot of bitter men out there too.... especially when there profile name says UNHAPPY, Last chance, just very negative. Really makes you want to talk to them, HUH??? Delete, delete! Back to this communication thing..... look at the world and the way we now "talk" to each other... We text more than anything, I am very guilty of it... but hey at least I am reaching out to my people! We Facebook to know what our friends are doing, we email instead of sending real letters, we Snap chat, we Instagram, some people really need to chill out when it comes to those sites, too much! And then there is Linkedin, for the business world.... and not to forget Tweeting.... our President even does this... and really I don't think any President should... that's just my opinion... and that's enough on anything political... We really have learned how to communicate without even TALKING to one another.... which is kind of sad. I know it is easier to text, etc. than have a real conversation, because anything such as that takes time. We all have busy lives. And I appreciate text messages, I really do... at least it is something! Yes, I text....I try to keep in touch with people I care about....however, it's good to have a real face to face conversation..... Digital communication is a way to make our lives more productive, to help save time, to make it easier. I am thankful for it. So, do you think we can have a connection with someone before we even meet them, after the old fashioned way of communicating, called a phone? And thank God for the speaker function... where you can still do things while listening/talking. And the headsets, so we have no phone to hold.... all great ! Yes, I believe we can get to know someone a little through digital means. Especially if it is an online dating profile, you read about them to see if there are common interests, before going to the initial flirt, compliment, etc. I believe though, that phone calls, hearing a voice is essential to see if compatibility is truly there.
Another thing my new friend and I discussed, was what kind of people we are.... I told him I believe I am average, but that I am trying to be better than average.... I am trying to work out again, meditate, get to know myself and what I genuinely want in this life. When you are over 50 it doesn't mean you just sit back and let life pass you by! When I turned 50 I was going to the gym 3 days a week, and walking, and eating right.... I probably drank more then than I do now though. I was in better shape, I felt better, I really looked better. Due to issues with my back (disc pain) and carpal tunnel in both hands, more severe in the right, I was forced for a little while to not work out much... and then part of it, was me putting it off, and the weather got too cold, etc. etc. A few months ago, I told myself, I have to be better... I need to be better, no more excuses. I can work out, just not as intense as I used to. I might not be the same as when I was 50, but I am going to be damn sure and try! So push yourself, be the person you want to be! Get excited about your Life! Be happy, whether you are in a relationship, married, or single... be TRUE to the one that you Love first...YOU! It's taken me many years to like myself, let alone love myself. We all have flaws, and some might be fixable with surgery, but some might not be.... if that is something that will make you happy do it.... Be who you want on the inside and out.... get the haircut, do your nails, get the outfit that makes you feel fantastic, buy that perfume that costs a little more, buy the shoes, eat the damn cake if that what you want... just within reason, all of these things. Life is short, enjoy your moments, by yourself, with your family and friends. Always be in the pursuit of being better than average to please yourself before worrying about anyone else.... I wish you all a very blessed day!
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