It's Been a LONG Winter

                                         Meant to Be ?????

                                       

    Been quite awhile since I wrote, so a lot to catch up on.  First of all, I do believe I am going in the right direction.  It's been almost 7 months now.  I still feel good, happy when we are together, and when I leave I miss him.  Is this Love ???  I finally feel safe with a man.  I feel protected when I am with him, that he will stand up and defend me no matter what.  I have not felt this way in a long time.  I think Mr. S. somewhat made me feel safe, however he was more of an emotional mess than I was a lot of the time.  And that French man that was my fiancee, he was more concerned about himself than me.  

    Ok, so here is the catch up.  We met for dinner the end of February, it was the Saturday I was dog sitting for one of my cleaning clients.  I have cleaned for them over 3 years, and love their 2 golden doodles, and they love me.  I was there for 4 nights this time, to make extra money for bills, so I could go to Florida over spring break.  Nice to take time off.  

    We met at a new Mexican restaurant.  The food was great, and we each had a couple of margaritas.  OH OH.... so I confessed my sins.  You know the one of stalking his ex on Facebook.  I also told him that I had a friend that was her friend.  I reached out to my friend, who is a male.  I asked how he knew her.  He said they met through a dating site.  I didn't ask how long ago.  He told me he never met her, in person.  They are just friends on Facebook.  Guess he has been watching me closer than I thought, too.... He asked me if I was seeing David.... I said yes, how did you know (as remember I am not posting anything about us).  He said he could tell because of the posts, and Dave liking them.  He also knew that this woman had been married to him, briefly.  He went on to say that he beat him to it... asking me out.  I never thought he was interested.  He was a friend of a friend I met years ago.  Anyway, I did tell Dave that I looked at all of her past posts.  That there are still photos of them on there, and then dropped the bombshell that she was "in a relationship" before the divorce was final.  She probably had went back on a dating site while she was still married. Shocker, right..... this woman sounds pathetic.  She was a spoiled child by her parents, they gave her money every month, and she had thought that being married entitled her to his savings account, soon after the marriage.  Can we say Gold digger!  

     I went on to tell him yes, I was upset over the way Valentines day went.  That I was concerned that he was still not over her, and that maybe I should go the other direction. 

He seemed shocked.  He said I misunderstood what he said.  He was over her, but not completely of the way she treated him.  He asked about not writing Love on the card he gave me.  I wanted to be honest, and yes that tequila helped be truthful.  It bothered me.  

I didn't know for sure of where we were in this relationship.  

     I went to the restroom, and when I returned he said Love you.... I said What??? Did you just tell me you love me?  He said Yes, and I knew it was going to slip out.... but yes, he loved me.  I told him, I love you too.  I felt much better that night.  He apologized for the misunderstanding.  He said I matter to him, and still believes God brought us together.  He also told me this on our first date.  

     We planned our trip to Florida for the end of March.  We drove there in the cool Camaro convertible.  I got to drive a little.  It was a long trip.  17 1/2 hours from my house.  He picked me up at 4 am on that Friday, March 25.  We did stop overnight in Georgia on the way, and in Virginia on the way home. We are not as young anymore...   This was another adventure for us.  I was excited to go.  I haven't had a vacation in 3 years.  Haven't been to Florida in maybe 50 years ???  I haven't vacationed with a man since going to Mexico with Michael probably 14 years ago.  ( That didn't go well either )  We both said it would make or break our relationship.  

     This trip went great!  I really liked Melbourne and loved the beaches we went to.  I loved the weather, it was high 70's and 80's.  Sun almost daily.  We had rain one day, and night.  It started to get a little humid.  This is the reason I don't want to live in Florida year round. 

Maybe in time, spend winters there.  There was a lot of discussions, mostly by him.  About the future, about us.  He still has the heart condition and needs procedures done soon.  

When you have conditions that are life threatening, you think about life.... and what happens if you leave this life, too early.   He has told me, I am his family, and he wants to take care of me in the future.  He is concerned about his son, and he knows that I would make sure he is taken care of if anything happens to him.  

     I believe our trip made us closer.   10 days together.  When he was leaving me, he said he was going to miss me.  It felt good to be with each other.  To share morning coffee, laying in the sun, walking on the beach, dinners together, music, a ride along the ocean.... all good times together.  

     The last two Sundays I've went to his church, the one he grew up in.  He hadn't been in almost 2 years, due to the mask wearing covid issue.  I don't blame him.  It was ridiculous.  

So much truth has now come out about this .... I don't even want to get started on our lying government.  

I remember I wanted a man to hold my hand in church, to pray with me, to totally believe in God.  I realized last Sunday, it was Easter, that I do believe God brought us together.  We are meant to be.  I feel he is the one. 

     Am I concerned about what's going to happen in the future?  Yes, of course.  I will stay in prayer, and ask God to guide this path we are on.  

     You know how things are going well, and something just has to happen to mess things up?  My first husband has contacted me, he's in prison, and I think still has another few years to go.... he's there for something he did not do, however I believe that was God putting him there, because of all the mistreatment he did do.  To me, our children, to others.  I'm sure there is so much I don't know.  I'm not saint, and I know I've got my own sins to bear.  

My ex first of all told one of my sons that he wanted to talk to me.  My phone doesn't recognize the call, and kept sending him to voice mail...that was a blessing.   

My son said I could sign up for email, so I thought ok, he can talk to me that way.  So, he is asking me to visit, and says he needs to talk to me, and it involves me..... oh here we go again.  

The day he tried to call me, I was on the way to the hospital with my man to have a heart procedure done. My son called.  He heard me telling him, my phone wasn't allowing the call.  I told him, to let him know that I was not going to talk to him, especially then.  Selfish, selfish behavior again.  So, we emailed a few times.  I'm waiting to get some email from his sister maybe telling me what this is about. 

     Well Dave heard me on the phone with my son, before we got to the hospital, he asked me what was going on.  He knew my ex was in prison, he just didn't know why.  I do not talk about him.  He knew he cheated and abused me, that's it.  So, I went into the story of how he went to prison.  I also told him, I do not know what he wants from me.  I do not want the past of my life to be in the present or the future.  I know my ex, he is a con man, a master manipulator.  I really do not want any part of his situation.  My life has been less drama since I got him out of my life, and I want to keep it that way.  So, I am not putting extra worry on the man I now love.  He has a heart condition, and needs another procedure in a few weeks.  I felt horrible telling him anything right before he had the last procedure done.  I've thought about this.  I owe my ex husband NOTHING!!!!!  I remember how he went to my 2nd husband before we married and tried to tell him a pack of lies about me.  

I am praying on this.  I have no idea why he is saying something involves me.  It is probably just another game for my attention, after all these years.  I can not go backwards.  I WILL NOT!  

     There is so much craziness going on in the world right now.  I would love for it to be in the 1980's again.  But there was corruption in our government then too, we just didn't know it. I remember my parents and other family talking about Kennedy being killed.  That that was a set up by government.  Now I believe it.  Now hearing that Sept 11, was also orchestrated by our government.  
There is so much evil !  We all need to pray to God to save us, and this world we live in.  I want my grandchildren to grow up in a peaceful nation.  I believe that God is exposing so much, so fast it's hard to believe.  This is a war Good vs Evil.  

I hope that God protects you, and your family, shows you the truth.  Stay well, take your vitamins, get exercise, rest, and sunshine.  

                                                 Until next time...... Debi